No, apparently a Hof is a 'Hotter Over Fifty' male who, according to Shane Watson - I hope that's the female Times journalist rather than the male Australian cricketer - has to, "have lived a full and bumpy life and come out the other side with their humour intact, confidence in fifth gear, ready to have fun". Her prime examples of Hofdom are Alec Baldwin (the King Hof), Bill Murray and Hugh Laurie so I'm quite flattered to be lumped in with such an august group, in the Brunette's eyes if no-one else's (not bad after more than seventeen years of marriage).
Shane didn't mention George Clooney but as he's only forty nine he has a year to wait before he can join me, Alec, Bill and Hugh in Hofdom. It's all a bit confusing though. Apparently Jack Nicholson hasn't achieved Hofdom, which is a surprise. Perhaps he's too much over fifty to qualify. Steve Martin, Kenneth Branagh and Harrison Ford also fail to make Shane's list, which I sort of understand. It's all a bit subjective though, innit? I mean, you're on pretty safe ground with a WAG as it doesn't matter if she's less fun than a prostate exam and looks like the back of a bus - if she's the wife or girlfriend of a footballer then she's de facto a WAG.
What about The Hoff though? He's fifty eight so he qualifies on age grounds. He's certainly lived a full and bumpy life - just look him up on the ever-accurate Wikipedia - and I don't get the impression that he's lacking in confidence. Ready to have fun? Well, he likes a drink, allegedly. It's not really for me to say though, is it? What do you think, girls?
I'm just going to wallow in the knowledge that at least one person thinks that I'm a Hof. It's a nice thing to be told just after your fiftysomething birthday.
Looking fifty is great...if you're sixty (Joan Rivers),
oldblodger
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